We went to some friends' yard sale today. It was held at my last apartment (that I sublet from them for a few years).
Walking over there today I wondered if I'd feel any emotion about being there again. I had lived there from Sept 2009 to March 2013... well actually only til Aug 2012... from Aug til the following March I was living almost full time with my BF at his condo. It had all started that Aug when the AC unit died in the apt. It wasn't listed in the lease so the landlord felt no need to replace it, and I sure wasn't going to dump of $1000+ on an AC unit that I couldn't take when I left... so I started staying more and more with Marcel since the fans and the portable AC unit I had, were just not cutting it, and his condo was nice and cool.
When the cooler temps of Fall and Winter came, I guess we just became so comfortable staying together that I didn't bother going back... other than to check the mail, shovel the snow, grab something or another... And then we decided, screw it, I may as well move in proper. We would save some money by splitting one set of bills instead of paying two full sets (rent/mortgage, hydro, cable/internet and so on...) and more importantly we liked being together.
So, I gave notice and slowly, but surely I'd go over pack a box, sort and chuck out what I didn't need or want anymore. It was cathartic, and rather easy to throw out things since I really hadn't been there for so long. By the time the final move was done on March 30th 2013, I was well and truly done with the old Apt. Granted, I did love the place when I moved in, in fact I put a lot of time into the place before and while I lived there. I certainly cleaned and spruced up the place. But it was an old building in increasingly disrepair in great part because the landlords were old and neither cared to do the work, or would pay for work to be done. I did what I could but when you only rent, you're only going to do so much. It was not hard to walk away.
I was back once in the spring and it didn't really still much emotion in me.
Being there today I felt no loss of affection for the place, as a matter of fact I felt rather claustrophobic there. It has more square footage than our place now, but it's layout in early 1900's design, with many small rooms, vs the open concept of Marcel's and my place now (a 1900's place renovated in the 1980s) made me uncomfortable. I never considered myself an open concept / lofty sort of person, but I have to say it's grown on me.
I could not wait to leave the old place after being there only 10 minutes. In fact, it seems to have gone steeper down hill... it almost made me wonder if the disrepair was because the place missed me... A sad thought truly, but while I will fondly remember my time there, it is no longer my home.
My home is pure and simply, where Marcel and the dogs are, and it's not there.
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